PA Personal Statement Workshop Essay 6

In this sixth installment of our special week-long personal statement workshop, we continue to pull essays submitted from the comments section through our free essay submission processand provide you, and our users, with a more detailed analysis of their essays. This sixth submission is by Lindsay. It starts with a story of her time spent in the ICU recovering from life-threatening multi-organ failure at the age of 19, her road to recovery under the care of a compassionate doctor, finding her passion in the operating room of an Orthopedic Trauma Surgeon and ultimately, her desire to become a Physician Assistant. We will present you with her original essay and our suggestions. As always, use this as a guide to see where you can improve your own writing, and respect the work of others.It should go without saying this is not your essay, so dont plagiarize. Essay 6: Although it was a difficult timein my life, it was also one of the most important. By: Lindsay I woke up with a tube down my throat, unable to speak, overwhelmed by voices all repeatedly saying my name. Over all of them I heard my mom, Lindsay, squeeze my hand if you can hear me, so I did, but thats where the memory ends. Thats where a week in the ICU and road to recovery began. I would come to learn that I had suffered a heat stroke while running a half marathon on a scorching July morning and my organs began to shut down. Although it was one of the more difficult times in my life, it was also one of the most important, as it helped solidify my desire to become a Physician Assistant and to change lives like one doctor changed mine. Long before my accident, I had the opportunity to shadow an Orthopedic Trauma Surgeon. Over the years, Ive gone into the operating room with him dozens of time, compiling hundreds of hours, but I will never forget the very first surgery I saw. It was a middle-aged man undergoing an ORIF of his fractured humerus. For the surgeons, it was a run-of-the-mill surgery, just another Monday. But for me, it was the first day of the rest of my life. A wide-eyed 18-year old surrounded by blue sterile fields, drills and screws, I knew where I wanted to direct my life. That was when I decided that a career in the medical field was the only option for me. During numerous visits to the OR, I watched the attending surgeon, the residents, the PA and the nurses. The way they worked together reminded me of my high school track team when we ran a relay race, they passed the tools between members, each doing some of the work to achieve a common goal. At this point, I was not entirely sure what a PA did. The more I observed, the more I began to notice that the PA is a crucial part to the relay team; an extension of the team of doctors. The doctors pass the PA the baton and they shoulder some of the work so that as doctors they can focus on their specialties. It allows the entire relay team to reach their goals and creates the safest, most effective approach to patient care. Much like being a part of the 4x800m relay team, I could see myself fitting into the medical relay team as the PA, the middle leg, the extension between the doctors and the finish line of helping the patient. Following my heat stroke was a weeklong stint in the ICU at Columbia St. Marys Hospital. During this time I was scared, sad, confused, defeated. My organs had begun to fail and were slowly recovering, which left me exhausted. I could barely stand, let alone walk, and had more lines in me than I could count. One doctor helped me through it all. Dr. Stepke, a gastroenterologist, was at my bedside every day, as my liver had the worst injury. Not only did he provide me with extraordinary medical care, but with the mental and emotional support that I needed. I was told I would be on bed rest for six weeks and limited physical activity for six weeks after that. For a runner, this was awful. The compassion and empathy that Dr. Stepke had for me soars above any other health care worker Ive ever come across. I was 19, in the hospital, scared, and he made me feel like everything was going to be okay, like he truly cared for me and that he understood how I was feeling. I followed up with Dr. St epke weekly for six weeks and he never wavered in his support during my recovery. There is something so invaluable about learning first hand the effects that your potential career can have on someone. My relationship with Dr. Stepke was another reassurance that I was meant to be a PA. Since then, every step of the way on my journey towards becoming a PA, I have always strived to make every patient feel how he made me feel: supported, cared for, and understood. In more than two years working as a CNA, there is one patient that stands out. Her name was Laura, a 37-year-old admitted with a GI bleed. Laura was an alcoholic with dozens of medical problems stemming from her drinking and I would quickly come to realize that she was nearing the end of her short life. Suddenly her care became so much more than the medicine. I cared for her mentally and emotionally, as Dr. Stepke had done for me, while she slowly accepted what was going to happen, while she and the Child Life Specialist told her two young sons, while she was no longer able to walk on her own. This was the hardest time in her life. She was defeated, depressed, dying. After two weeks of working with Laura almost every day, she was discharged. Laura died two days later in the comfort of her home surrounded by family. In my time with her, I did my best to provide her with the empathy and compassion that I had once felt from Dr. Stepke. In my time as a CNA, Ive learned communication, wor king as a cohesive team, patience and improvisation, but working with Laura taught me so much more. Through her, I learned about the importance of holistic medicine, in taking care of the mind, body and soul. This can best be achieved by working together as healthcare professionals, passing the baton and ultimately crossing the finish line as a team. First, I observed and saw I wanted to be a Physician Assistant. Then, I was the patient and felt that I wanted to be a Physician Assistant. Once I felt the impact an incredible doctor can have on a person, I adopted those practices into my own role as a CNA. And once the two came together, working as a team to care for someone in such a vulnerable state, like I had once been, I saw the rest of my life unfold as a Physician Assistant. Suggestions and Revisions By: Sue Edmondson (personal statement collaborative) Hi Lindsay, This is an excellent start to your personal statement. Your descriptions are vivid I can picture you perfectly in the ICU, and thats exactly what you want your readers to do. In the third paragraph you lose your focus. The goal is to let Admissions Directors and faculty why you want to be a PA. When I read this, I saw no connection between your interactions with Dr. Stepke and wanting to be a PA other than he showed unwavering support. Why did your relationship with the doctor make you want to be a PA? You never say and you need to. Why not be a doctor instead? Compassion and support are a small part of a PAs job. You could omit most of that paragraph and just use the following: Following my heat stroke was a weeklong stint in the ICU at Columbia St. Marys Hospital. One doctor helped me through it all. Dr. Stepke, a gastroenterologist, was at my bedside every day, as my liver had the worst injury. Not only did he provide me with extraordinary medical care, but with the mental and emotional support that I needed. Since then, every step of the way on my journey towards becoming a PA, I have always strived to make every patient feel how he made me feel: supported, cared for, and understood. In your paragraph about Laura (which overall was excellent) omit the references to Dr. Stepke. You dont need them. This sentence would then read: Suddenly her care became so much more than the medicine. I cared for her mentally and emotionally. Leave this sentence out completely: In my time with her, I did my best to provide her with the empathy and compassion that I had once felt from Dr. Stepke. Its redundant for one. Use the extra space to reinforce why youve chosen to pursue the PA profession as opposed to any other. Then youll be able to make your conclusion stronger. Its weak as it stands now. Saying that you felt you wanted to be a PA isnt compelling. I hope this helps. Best of luck. Sue Edmondson Looking for help with your personal statement? We offer a bit of free guidance to anyone who takes the time to submit their essay in the comments sectionof the blog.But your essay deserves more than just a quick spell checkor a read through from a parent or relative. For as little as $59 you can have: Personal guidance from our team of professional (unbiased) writers, with inside knowledge of the PA school personal statement. (We have personally interviewed 12 of the top PA school admissions directors from across the country.) Telephone consultations are included with all purchases above the single edit level.It's often hard to communicateexactly what you want hundreds of miles away;for this reason, we offer the option toedit right alongside us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Docs. We provide feedback, advice and help with brainstorming and topic creation. We will help witha"final touch up" before the big day just in case your essay needs a bit of polish. Click here to learn more. Here is what one of our recent clients had to say: I have recently been accepted to a program that was one of my top choices, and I also was waitlisted with two other schools. I wanted to thank you again for all your help. Not only am I grateful for your knowledge of writing and grammar (which were invaluable), but most importantly your kind words and motivation, which I needed so much at the time. You're a great person!Alex Taylor, PA-S We are currently accepting essays in all iterations. We have flexible pricing and can do everything from a single one-time edit to a full-service review that will take you from beginning to a finished product. Hurry, as we can only accept a few essays each month. Click here to post your essay or learn more about our service. Have you enjoyed what you read? I hope you have been enjoying this personal statement workshop. Before you go, make sure to sign up forautomatic updatesfrom the blog orsubscribe with Feedly(my favorite RSS reader). And if you haven't already, sign up for the FREE email newsletter (down below) or connect with me on Facebook or Twitter. Ill definitely respond, and I look forward to meeting you! Cheers, Stephen View all posts in this seriesHow to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application EssayThe Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement CollaborativeDo You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, A PA Changed My LifePA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient CarePA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, She Smiled, Said Gracias! and Gave me a Big HugPA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With PatientsPA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With YouPA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my LifePA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: To say I was an accident-prone ch ild is an understatement9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!How to Write Physician Assistant The PA Grammar Guide101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!5 Things Ive Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal StatementThe #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal StatementThe Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter KitThe Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement101 PA School Applicants Answer: Whats Your Greatest Strength? You may also like -PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff. In this seventh (and final) installment of our special week-long personal statement workshop, we continue to pull essays submitted from the comments section through our free essay submission processand provide you, and our users, []How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application EssayOver at Inside PA Training Paul wrote a wonderful blog post about the common pitfalls that many PA school applicants fall victim to while preparing their PA school essay. CommonPhysician Assistant Essay Pitfalls Clichs Lack of []Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement In this latest installment of thepersonal statement workshop, we continue to pull essays submitted from the comments section through our free essay submission processand provide you, and our users, with a more detailed analysis of []